My fingers are so cold that my breath is trembling, and it feels like when the cold vise would return, the turning a blind my chest - scared. Sadness. I want to replace that feeling this time. I will take it and I want to breathe it, it will again breathe out of me. Not displace. Life.
Fear is hot. I do not know why people always describe as a cold fear. I think fear is hot hot. She glows in my chest and then crawls up my neck, burning. That is fear.
to fear, but you have lost, at least a little. Anxiety, all broke to have my doubts -. I do not know where they came from, I do not know why I was so hard I do not doubt in my mind than - because I was so stupid was to make all of the question. I would like nothing more question.
I'm afraid, can not keep up.
I'm afraid to catch you can not when you need it.
I'm afraid that you like it not, perhaps.
I'm afraid that you're doing bad and I did not notice because you do not want me to notice it.
afraid you distanzierst up from me.
I know you have every right to do so after I hurt you so.
I do not know if I can ever forgive me this injury.
I would kneel beside you and if it is ok for you, I'd like you to carefully lay a hand on his back - please do not be dismayed. As I type this here, they are getting colder and I fear that they feel a bit like ice. I want to pull on me - that's selfish and at the same time it is not. I want to hold you to explain to you how important you are and how valuable. Please do not think you were alone. I love you. I love you so much and no matter what you do, I'll love you more. I love you if you make mistakes. I love you always. I would not want you alone - unless you want to be alone for a moment. I want to force me not you and I know that sometimes you have to be alone. But do not you feel lonely. I want to hold you so much, for fear that you would slip away from me. Your body I would like to say because I think naively, to be able to keep this also your soul to me and to prevent it runs out of my hands. Holding I would not like, you shall remain free, but I'm so afraid of losing you that I cry. I have such fear, you take the bad feelings can not believe I was crying.
I'm afraid to lose you and I want to hold you so close to me how to do it, so that does not happen. And I know
that it is your decision.
I want to get well. I want that you feel heat.
I want you do not have to suffer.
I hope that there are no broken glass in your life, but warm colors and light.
If I can, I'll do everything we can to let you achieve it - if you let me, if you allow me.
I love you. I love you so much.
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