Coating On Tongue Iron

Morning.

I have been looking to find a corner. I tripped over my own feet again and again, somewhere was a stage where I'm stuck. My feet are currently no coordination and I stumble again and again so well just as I was looking. In here there is no light, but even though it is dark, it seems so blindingly bright wants me but I just hide. I want to get away. Disappear. Eventually, I stumbled against a wall and had me from entlanggetastet until I found this corner. Now I sit here, shut down on the wall. I do not know was, how much dust and Spiders I share the space - or whether it is ultimately just nothing else here but me.
I crouch together, I take up as little space as possible is only me.
I do not want. Will not, will not, not anymore. I can hardly breathe
and every time I try it but it hurts.
But I can not. I have to do as little as possible, I can not move, can not.
The Goblet of corrosive acid in my chest, which is now filled to the brim would otherwise overflow and destroy me.
I do not want to. And I realize that it still happen may be because I do not at some time still.
Not yet. Please.
I just want it to stop. I want everything to be quiet. Very, very long time still.
And no longer hurts. I
hands press against my face until I get the feeling that I draw by the skin of the bone.
When I feel a hand on my shoulder bulky, I cringe almost together - but only almost, just in time I remember that I do not spill the acid may.
He's here. Why? I'm still around in his world? His presence is
not comforting. It feels hot and burning, constricting, ill.
He remembers it and takes a bit of distance - at last no longer touches me, makes me breathe in gratitude.
But he stays. Although I have closed my eyes and we are in darkness, I know he is sitting opposite me.
long time we are silent.
I try not to think.
In his presence I will not break, do not give up.
Not if he is there!
"I thought you did not do that," he says at some point and I notice that my breathing very ceases.
Unfortunately, I can survive here without, in this room, other rules apply.
He's right. I never wanted to. I'm not really.
I just want to break. Unfortunately, there is no such thing.
I want - I want that is NOTHING.
nothing more. I want it to stop. I want all the damned will just disappear.
I can not.
It hurts. I know I'm a coward. So many people to tolerate pain.
And here, this is nothing. Actually it's nothing.
I'm so much accusations that I the burden of nothing will be crushed.
But I can not.
I am responsible, I'm human, I have to be kindly appreciated.
But I have no strength and no courage, no confidence in what is to come.
There's simply nothing more. I do not know why I stay behind so far behind everyone else, but I realize that the gap is widening. I should just keep his mouth and catch up, but I can not - I would rather pull back here and be quiet.
I want him to go. I did not answer. I ignore him. He should go away
so I finally can end.
Maybe he is just because of that. Right now I hate him for it.
One can accuse me of course.
that I will rest and black, and a finish that will pass. You can. I have.
I've blamed everything and therefore I do not care what else to say.
I've already told me anyway.
am And yet at that point.
How much I wish, just to be able to do something to make it stop.
Especially my own glory. All the mistakes I make.
How shall I ever repay you? "I can not. I CAN NOT DAMN!
am with a jerky movement, I on my feet, I cried the last words in the room, loudly and with the last strength. Then I get dizzy and even though anyway, everything is just black, is dark before my eyes. "Woe unto you catch me." I want to hit the ground, I want to feel that. Even if I'm unconscious and then I will be there in the knowledge that it is a non-braking case.
I can not make up for it. Even if all other forgive me sometime, I do not own it - hell no, it would be unjustified, the world is! to be inconsistent. Just because no one can stand the pressure, the so brings with it an attitude, it does not mean that it is right to avoid this pressure. Just because no one can see his own wickedness in the face. I do it go and die in it. So what? If you have not aushaltet you deserve to perish.
No . I do not think so. I love the people with their mistakes and no one deserves to fall.
Yes, you . Yes, the voice is right. I've earned it.
I just want it to stop.
Too bad that I know I wake up again anyway am.

Stop it. You're worried them. You're worried them!
This is not fair. ... This is not fair.

no more.

"I'm sorry, but I can not promise it to you."
His voice is warm and his body as well. I wake up and realize that I'm too close to him, but I can not defend myself. He has me connected to arms, though I have not done anything. So it is provisional, so I do not even come to mind, they aufzukratzen. My fingers stretch out up and touch his face - I see him before my eyes closed. Green Eyes, light hair, a striking face. I WILL NOT.
I do not want pity. I do not want comfort. I will not.
His words make it clear that he just got caught and I would like to scream with rage about it, but I can not, can not. Can not. I want to beat me. Can not. I want to throw me against the wall. Can not. Want to cry. Can not. Can only make me think.

stop It should.